


Running out of breath

by Tatsueli



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Angst, Chris in a weak moment, Fluff and Angst, Grief, M/M, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 07:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tatsueli/pseuds/Tatsueli
Summary: Chris is coming home from a mission that left its marks on him, but not only on the surface...





	Running out of breath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fonulyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/gifts).

> Yes i just gifted this to you, Fon, bc without you i wouldn't have written this. ♥
> 
> Also thank you again for beta-reading and all in all just being amazing! :D

It was past midnight already, when he unlocked the door and went inside the dark apartment with heavy dragged steps. Leon seemed to be asleep already, and even if Chris was happy to be back at home with him again he was thankful not to have to talk to him, to anyone, right now. He dragged himself to the bathroom, slowly getting rid of his dirty clothes, and not minding the bruises and scratches his body was covered in. He just went straight under the shower, letting hot water patter down on his body, the pain of the scratches numbing his mind from the pictures the mission had left in his soul. 

This mission wore him out. His heart was heavy with all those they had lost. The ones he swore to protect, as their _captain_ it had been his duty. And yet… 

He had failed. 

A lump formed in his throat and he tried to swallow around it. He clenched his teeth, the hurt and disappointment over himself taking over in his heart, the guilt so heavy on his shoulders. He let his head fall against the tiles of the wall, his hands clenched into fists and the lump in his throat so big now he felt like he couldn’t breathe. And before he knew he already punched into the wall, ignoring the aching pain in his hand, ignoring the tears that got washed away with the flowing water. 

He didn’t know how long he stood there, how long he tried to shut up his screaming mind. How long he tried to convince himself that it wasn’t his fault. That he shouldn’t feel the guilt. He should concentrate on a mission well done, on the comrades that came out alive with him. But he couldn’t. It weren’t just soldiers that died out there. They were his comrades, his _friends_. And he had failed to protect them, failed to _save_ them. 

Slowly the pain of his scratches weakened, leaving only the painful knuckles of his hand and he tried to focus on, hoping it would numb the feelings in his chest. Then, for a brief moment he felt cool air around his ankles, and in the next two arms wrapped themselves around his stomach. It still surprised him a little and he couldn’t hold back the small hiccup, before he looked over his shoulder, finding Leon pressing his face to Chris’s shoulder and leaving tiny butterfly kisses on his skin. 

Almost immediately he felt himself relax against his lover, but it also was like a dam broke and even more tears spilled. He put his head back and let the water spray on his face, while his hand found its way to Leon’s around his stomach, and he laced their fingers together. Leon tightened his hold around Chris, trying to support him the best he could and as long as Chris needed it and would let him. 

They both forgot about the time as they stood there under the shower. Leon had gently started to stroke over Chris’s stomach. And while he had his head laying on Chris’s shoulder, Chris had leaned his against Leon’s. Chris almost shrunk into Leon’s arms, trying to absorb as much strength and warmth as he was given. 

When Leon felt him calm down, he reached for the water handle to turn the water off. He looked at Chris, who still had his eyes closed for a moment, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. His hand back on Chris’s stomach, he still stayed close, nose gently brushing over Chris’s cheek. 

“Let’s go to bed, hm?” He whispered and watched how Chris opened his eyes again, looking more than tired. Finally he nodded slightly. Leon smiled gently, pressed another feather-like kiss to his cheek and slowly coaxed Chris out of the shower with him, their fingers still laced together. 

He only broke the contact when he grabbed them two towels and tossed one to Chris, who caught it but seemed to be drifting somewhere else again in his mind. Leon wrapped the towel around his waist and took the step to Chris, taking his towel, and just started rubbing it carefully over his skin, not to hurt him. That seemed to bring back Chris from wherever he had drifted off to in his mind, and now he looked directly into Leon’s face, observing him, while he dried his body. 

And just watching him like this, feeling what he did for him and how he was just _here_, with _him_, made other emotions swell up in his chest. Emotions that were able to overshadow the feelings of failure and guilt at least so much that he could finally focus on something else. He was still looking at Leon, who didn’t seem to mind in the slightest to be watched like this, and Chris took a deep breath, one that was meant to help him calm down again. Chris swallowed and reached for Leon’s face, placing his warm palm on the side of his face. Leon barely managed to discard their towels, before he stopped in his motion because of the touch, and finally looked back up into Chris’s face, that was so full of emotions, he could feel something constrict in his chest. 

Chris slowly pulled him closer, his hand wandering to the back of Leon’s head and he pressed their foreheads together, eyes closing again. He wanted to say how thankful he was for Leon being here with him, for helping him, for never leaving his side. But there were no words that could actually grasp in the slightest how grateful Chris was to have this man stand here with him. So he just breathed in deeply before he fell back into Leon's arms, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. 

Leon closed his arms around Chris’s torso, held him close again, and he knew better than to ask what had happened. He wanted to know, of course, but Chris would tell him whenever he felt ready for it. So Leon didn't push. Instead he just carded his fingers through the short hair on the back of Chris’s head, trying to show him that he cared for him deeply. 

“C’mon now, big boy. You need to rest,” he said softly and caressed Chris’s shoulder. Leon then felt a gentle kiss pressed to his neck, felt how Chris lingered a bit in the moment before he slowly detached from him. Leon took his hand and smiled, finally coaxing him out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. He crawled under the blanket and held it up invitingly for Chris to join him. Chris immediately followed after, and Leon pulled him into his arms, so he could snuggle into him. 

A strong arm wrapped around Leon’s waist and pulled him closer. Chris visibly relished in the skin contact, relished in the feeling of Leon so close. He looked at him through the darkness and finally pulled him in for a soft kiss. Having Leon here helped him deal with the overwhelming feeling of being lost. Leon grounded him, and helped find his footing again. 

“I love you,” Chris whispered low against his lips and he felt Leon smile, causing him to smile as well, before they connected their lips in a sweet kiss again.

**Author's Note:**

> So Fon showed me a fanart of Chris standing in a shower crying and I just had to write this?? So here you are. I hope y'all liked it~


End file.
